Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.

Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Illiterate? Write For Help

Cover Me -- I'm Changing Lanes

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven't Lost My Mind -- It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
.....Are Also Timed For 70 mph

Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

Ax Me About Ebonics

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Don't Be Sexist -- Broads Hate That

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

Warning! Driver Only Carries $20 In Ammunition