Bill Clinton died and went straight to hell. When he got there the Devil greeted him and said: "You are going to be here forever, in eternal damnation. But since you were the President of the United States, I'm going to give you a peek behind the three Doors of Hell that are open to you, and you can choose which part of hell to spend eternity."

Clinton said, "Thanks, Mr. Devil. I think I can do that."

So Clinton cracked open the first door and was met with a hot blast of air. Inside was a deep pit at the bottom of which he saw Richard Nixon. Devilish imps were at the top of the pit throwing rocks at Nixon who dodged and cowered below.

"Man, I don't want to be in here for eternity." said Clinton.

"Whatever you want, Bill," said the Devil, "It's your eternity."

So he moved to the next door and eased it open. Inside was a cold steep mountainside covered with snow. Franklin Delano Roosevelt was careening down the slope in his wheel chair and crashed into the trees and rocks below. Then the devilish imps picked him up, carried him to the top of the mountain and threw him over the slope again.

"Geeze, I am not going to spend eternity doing that over and over again."

"I understand," replied the Devil.

He cracked the third door ever so slightly and found a stone dungeon inside. On the far wall he saw Ken Starr shackled spreadeagle against the wall, his eyes glazed. Between Ken Starr's legs was Monica Lewinsky giving him a devastating blowjob.

"Man oh man," shouted Bill, "I could spend eternity doing this! I choose this place!"

"OK, this will be eternity for you." declared the Devil, grinning widely. "Monica you can stop now. Your replacement is here."