10. Nah -- you wouldn't want to meet me. I'm a loser with bad skin and I still lives in my parent's basement.

9. There's porno online? Like they'd allow that!

8. The X-Files? What's that?

7. Go into a private chatroom with you? Sorry, I'm married. That just wouldn't be right.

6. You know, to get a really fast connection, you've gotta go through America Online.

5. Well... gotta go. It's almost time to pick up my date.

4. You don't really believe all that Roswell UFO crap, do ya?

3. Star Trek 5? Sorry... didn't see that one.

2. Well... if you really want expert advice... you can't go wrong talking to one of those knowledgeable salespersons at Best Buy.

And, the number one thing you'll never hear in a chat room...

1. Where have I been lately? Hey, some of us have a life, ya know!