So, what did I learn today while sitting peacefully, eating my lunch at Blimpies? Well, the nice young lady on the other side of the room had a friend, Becky, who was on the corner of Grand and Snelling with her other friend, Paul. They had no need to hurry over to Blimpies, because this young lady on the other side of the room wasn't going to depart for another hour. Their destination, you ask? It was Target. This young lady apparently needed to do some clothes shopping. Also, I learned that numerous other things were "so funny" and other things were extreme enough to elicit responses such as "oh my god, he DIDN'T!"
How did I learn all this, you ask? Well, this young lady at the other end of the room had a cell phone. Was I talking to her on her cell phone, you ask? No, I wasn't. She was talking to her friend, Becky. I thought I told you this already. No, I see you're still confused. Well, I'll just say that this young lady was talking loudly enough that I'm surprised the entire city didn't know of her plans. Honestly, I've noticed this annoying trend that people feel the need to talk extra loudly on their cell phones in small, cramped, awkward public places. News Flash: Everyone can hear your conversation. No one wants to. Cell phones are pretty amazing pieces of technology and unless you're talking to your friend from Mars, you really don't need to shout. They can hear you just fine if you speak in a nice, calm, collected, quiet voice. You could even call it your "inside" voice. Because, after all, you are inside, so doesn't it make a lot of sense to use your inside voice and not your "oh my god, there's a creepy man following me in a dark alley and I think he's going to rape me" voice?
Please, quiet down folks. Wait until you're in the safety of your own car to talk in a really loud manner on your cell phone as you weave in and out of your lane while making big swooping gestures with your hands while engrossed in cell phone conversation and while almost killing me you stupid asshole. Wait...
For now, just quiet down. Thanks.